How is it Christmas Eve already? Wasn’t it just Halloween? Did you leave left your shopping until the last minute? Don’t worry! Here are 8 quick and easy gifts you can give the gay man in your life.
Gay men always need lube. For, you know, anal sex and stuff, “stuff” meaning more anal sex. And no, spit is not “just as good”. Actually, someone needs to market a lube called SPIT. Until that happens we suggest buying something unscented and unflavored – leave all the silly stuff for hen parties and straight couples who think using pineapple tasting lube counts as kinky.
2. Kylie Christmas
Unless you’ve been living under a big gay rock you will know that iconess Kylie Minogue released a Christmas album this year. Helpfully titled Kylie Christmas it comes with the expected remakes of classics plus two superb new gems. One is called 100 Degrees – a thumping disco carol where Kylie duets with sister Dannii. The second is Every Day’s Like Christmas, a dreamy Chris “Coldplay” Martin penned tune. Even better, Kylie’s original producers Stock Aitken Waterman reunited for a special remix of that Martin song and the result sounds exactly like it was plucked from 1988. Unfortunately the remix is only available as a separate single but it’s worth the extra money.
3. A Wrestling Singlet
The world needs more hot men wearing wrestling singlets. It just does.
4. The World’s Best Undiscovered Book Series By a Gay Writer
Hiding on Amazon is the world’s best undiscovered series of novels and the writer is gay. Actually he’s DC Sheehan, also known as Dominic Sheehan, also known as the brains behind Himsical. The Mythic series stars Lucy Knight, a foul-mouthed, plus-sized teenager who discovers she’s the only one who can protect us from an ancient evil that’s come from another world. That other world, known as Aedea, is where all our stories and legends originate from – except in that world all those tales really happened. There’s a hockey stick obsessed best friend, a gay minotaur and a talking cat. The first three novels are available now as Kindle e-books and the fourth is coming soon – as soon as Sheehan finds time to finish it. Give your friend the gift of hilarious AND exciting. Also, a gay minotaur!
5. A Kindle
Your friend will need it to read #4.
6. Something You Made
Just kidding! Nobody wants your homemade crap, MacGyver! Have you seen what people sell on Etsy? Homemade stuff is terrible. But if it’s so terrible that it’s funny then please post pictures online. Because “nailed it”.
Gay men love cash. Better yet, how about an Amazon gift voucher? Then they can use it to buy those books by DC Sheehan.
8. A Voucher For A Blowjob
There’s nothing worse than being really horny and trawling apps for a hookup only to strike out. Your guy pal will definitely appreciate a voucher for a free blowjob – redeemable any time. That’s what friends are for! If you’re a bit of a slut then you can give them a whole booklet of vouchers, include ones for snogging, handjobs, rimming, anal sex, some BDSM – whatever gets you and them going. It might be good to include some lube from #1 with this gift – especially if your friend is into fisting…