Eurovision 2018: The Reviews – FINLAND

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Monsters (Saara Aalto)

BACKGROUND
True story: Saara Sofia Aalto holds the World Record for “Name most composed of the letter “A”. (Editor’s Note: That is not true). Like a large proportion of Eurovision entrants, Aalto rose to prominence through reality singing competitions – specifically The Voice Finland and X-Factor UK. She was the runner-up in both. Two times a bridesmaid? It’s time to crown this queen!

OFFICIAL VIDEO
Dear Australia, You know what’s better than a pretend song about gay love sung by a straight person? A genuine song about gay love sung by someone who identifies as gay and who isn’t afraid to show us some queerness. Seriously, look at this!  There’s a Last Supper reference with Aalto as lesbian-Jesus!

EUROTRASHTIC LYRICS

I ain’t gonna hold on to these monsters anymore
Now I’m gonna let in all the light, tear down the walls
At my worst, I found my army strong
All the demons are gone
You can try and scare me now, but I ain’t scared no more

Dear Australia. This is how you write gay anthem. Forget Jessica Mauboy sweetly going on about how we got love and then someone later deciding “oh, this could be about marriage equality”. This song came out of the womb queer. Also, I need a T-shirt with “At my worst, I found my army strong”. Yes, I added the comma. I do like a good comma.

REVIEW
Aalto has been deposited in the first semi, so she’s going to have to elbow her way through some tough – more highly favoured – competition just to make the final. But a good live performance (and yes, she can sing live) might see her through. The United Kingdom is participating in that semi, so her X-Factor past will hopefully translate into votes. And if you’re still not convinced she deserves to be a Eurovision finalist/winner then check her stripped-back, piano-only version of Monsters – Aalto accompanies herself and sings in 34 European languages. Most days I can barely say my own name.

RATING
A+

BEAR BONUS
Aalto used to be in a relationship with furry Finnish singer Teemu Roivanien. We chasers owe her a debt of gratitude for releasing this hot bear back into the wild.

Gods bless you, Ms Aalto!

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