Eurovision 2018: The Reviews – GREECE

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Oniro Mou (Gianna Terzi)

BACKGROUND
There were five songs competing in the final to find Greece’s 2018 entry – but Terzi didn’t have to sing a note to be crowned. Two songs were disqualified for not sounding “Greek” enough. And the record labels behind two others wouldn’t pay a €20,000 “fee” to the Greek national broadcaster. Voila – Terzi. Or whatever is Greek for voila. The only Greek word I know is “souvlaki”.

OFFICIAL VIDEO
Looking at how hairy that man’s face is, I’m suspicious why he doesn’t have more body hair. There are some guys with heavy beard growth who don’t have chest hair, but there’s often pressure on men to shave their chests, which is what I suspect has happened here. I need more evidence so I can get to the bottom of this. Naked pictures of him would be helpful.

EUROTRASHTIC LYRICS

Why do you want to change me
And remove my blue
If you talk about my mountains
My loneliness will listen to you

Whoa, lady! I can assure you I was not talking about your “mountains”. And quite frankly, if you are literally blue then you might want someone to look at that. Wait, is it your mountains that are blue? Nope, don’t even want to see them even then.

REVIEW
Well, it certainly sounds Greek. I’m not sure it sounds great.

RATING
B

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