Eurovision 2018: The Reviews – RUSSIA

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I Won’t Break (Julia Samoylova)

BACKGROUND
Last year Russia purposefully chose Samoylova, knowing that she would be unable to appear at Eurovision. Ukraine was the host and Samoylova had visited the Russian-annexed Crimea in 2015, meaning she was automatically banned from entering Ukraine for three years. It was a cynical move by Russia, using sympathy over Samoylova’s illness to score political points against the host country. Of course, Russia hasn’t come and out said the whole thing was a stunt, but taking in account the horrible song they saddled her with, it was obvious they never intended her to go. This year they’ve selected her again, and given her a better tune. But it’s only marginally better, so the song is still terrible. To compound the awfulness, Samoylova’s pronunciation of English is mediocre and she cannot sing the high notes live. She ain’t doing so hot on the low notes either.

OFFICIAL VIDEO
I have no words.

But I have a picture.

EUROTRASHTIC LYRICS

Those so called broken wings
Are soaring to the sky
I’ve flown with kings and queens
With freedom in their eyes

The notion of her own broken wings soaring would be inspiring if it was not so manufactured. There’s no genuine feeling here, just clinical emotional-manipulation. Also, why do these kings and queens have freedom in their eyes? Is freedom the Russian word for “grit”?

REVIEW
Russia has qualified from the semi-finals every year they’ve competed. Block voting will probably see Samoylova safely through, but unless her vocals dramatically improve, she’ll likely give Russia their worst ever result. Which I suspect is the whole point. Eurovision has become far too inclusive gay for Russia’s liking and they’re itching for an excuse to withdraw. How easy it will be to pin that on the West being so cruel to poor Julia. Just like I’m being cruel to her now. But hey, at least I didn’t post a video of her with a goat braying in the middle of it. Or send her to Eurovision with a dreadful song that’s beyond her vocal abilities.

RATING
D

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