I Love Penises

As a gay man I, of course, am a big fan of the penis. As well as possessing one myself, I’ve encountered many others during my life. I’ve even had the privilege to touch two or three. Two or three thousand…

But the penis is much maligned. The internet is full of posts about how ugly they are. There are women who demand their men get circumcisions. Women who attack penises in order to emasculate guys who have wronged them. Many men worry that their penis is too small. Many worry it’s not even attractive. Penises need some love.  Here are five reasons why they’re my favourite sexual organ.

1. They’re Chameleons
The penis is the shape shifter of the human body. What other body part looks so different in its two different states? While soft they look like Yoda and while big they look good enough to eat. Their adaptability is not all about appearances – it’s also about performance. They grow, they shrink, they can be flexible enough to mold into shapes then so hard it’s like there’s a bone in there.

2. They’re Unique
Just like snowflakes, no two penises are alike. Not only do they come in different sizes and shades, they come in different shapes, girths and thanks to circumcision (or no thanks depending on your opinion) either with or without a hood attachment. Some are as straight as a ruler, some have a banana curve, some are like carrots – with a wide base, narrowing towards the top – some “beer can” cocks are just wide, bottom to head. Even the cock head, in technical terms the “glans penis”, comes in a huge variety of shapes, including the famous “mushroom head”. I’m not a huge fan of fungi but that’s one mushroom I’m happy to chow down on.

All your penis are belong to us.

All your penis are belong to us.

3. They Feel Great Inside You
They feel equally good inside your mouth and your ass. What other object feels so wonderful in both those holes? Besides cucumbers.  But cucumbers are strictly one-use.  The penis is the gift that keeps giving.

4. They Produce Two Different Kinds of Liquids, Out of the Same Hole!
Isn’t that amazing? It’s like your tap at home being able to provide both water and beer. Or urine and cum, I guess. To be honest, if your tap at home produces both water and cum it’s time to call a plumber. Or an exorcist.

5. Every One Presents a Different Experience
Every man’s penis not only looks different, it feels different, and tastes different. Equally, various cocks also presents distinct challenges. The prospect of just how to service huge penis can be overwhelming.  Handling a man who isn’t so well endowed can actually be just as daunting. But bigger definitely doesn’t mean better. Some of the worst sex I’ve had was with massively hung men who didn’t know how to drive their semi-rig and they certainly didn’t know how to park it in a tight space.

I’m not someone who believes a man is defined by the size of his cock – equally I don’t think you need a working penis to be a “man”. Yes, that’s an odd thing to say in a piece devoted to extolling the virtues of the penis but here’s another thing I believe – good sex is about way more than what’s between our legs. Cocks need to be adored, yes, but they are just one of the gods of the pleasure pantheon, just one part of a man’s body that deserves praise.

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