What is a prostate?
The prostate is a gland found in men. In younger men it is the size and the shape of a walnut but it gets bigger as you get older.
I wish my penis got bigger as I got older.
Add that to your Christmas wish list this year.
Where is it?
It sits below the bladder and in front of the rectum. You know where your rectum is right?
That’s where the penis goes.
Yes, that’s where the penis goes.
Why do guys have a prostate?
It secretes the whitish fluid that makes up part of your semen.
So this is where babies come from?
No, the sperm that helps make a baby comes from your testicles.
Don’t you mean “prostrate”?
Being prostrate – note the R – means to put yourself in a submissive position, typically lying down on the ground with your bum higher than your head. Ironically you may need to be prostrate to have someone check your prostate. Don’t worry, the doctor will lube up first.
The doctor sticks their finger up my butt?
Yes, your doctor may do what’s called a “digital rectal examination” to see if your prostate is enlarged. It’s not like you haven’t had a finger up there before. Or a fist. The doctor may also do blood tests.
What if I get an erection during the examination? There’s a finger going up my rectum.
Imagine that it’s your mother doing the exam.
I’ve still got an erection.
Ew. Okay, imagine it’s Donald Trump.
Why do I get an erection when someone fingers me?
It’s because the prostate is a pleasure point for men, so massaging it can get us aroused.
That’s why I cum when a guy fucks me?
It is indeed. There is lots of good advice online for how to better enjoy your prostate so check it out.
What are the signs of prostate problems?
Symptoms may include urination trouble: difficulty starting to pee, difficulty keeping peeing once you start, or frequently needing to urinate at night. In other words, if you’re having any trouble peeing you should see your doctor.
Sometimes I stand at urinals pretending to pee.
That’s called cruising and it has nothing to do with your prostate. Well, it might if it ends up with a penis in your rectum.
I can get prostate cancer, right? But that only happens to really old guys.
That’s not true. It’s not common in men under 40 but after that age you should be discussing prostate health with your doctor.
By “really old guys” I meant 40.
You can get prostate cancer before 40. Absolutely talk to your doctor if you have urination issues or if there is a family history of prostate cancer. Having a father or brother with prostate cancer more than doubles your risk of developing it yourself.
It burns while I pee! I’ve got cancer!
That doesn’t sound like a prostate issue but it does sound like a problem you should be investigating.
Each year over a million men worldwide are diagnosed with prostate cancer. Survival rates are very good but as with any disease, identifying it early is key.
I’m gonna DIEEEEE!!!
It’s probably nothing. But it might be something, which is why you should check with your doctor. Expecially about the burning pee.
I’ve got an erection thinking about the digital rectal exam.
Think about Donald Trump!
It’s Donald Trump that’s giving me the erection
That may be the scariest thing any human has ever said.
In Ask Himsical Kyle Kairouz tackles your questions, providing lighthearted, but accurate, answers. Got a question? Let Kyle know!